Where do I begin?

The pain had been awful which has stopped me walking as much. The pain is so bad at times that you just can't breathe.

Thankfully it seems to be easing now.

I have been out for a meal at our local Cantonese restaurant after weigh in last week as we had a small celebration to go to but, while I was there, I tried to choose wisely and swapped the fried rice for boiled rice.

As soon as we left the restaurant, it was back to business, watching what I ate for the rest of the week. I cut out my Milky Way treats in order to compensate for the meal. When I went to get on the scales, I felt I'd done everything right and I should at least be able to stay the same. I was gutted when I was told I'd had a gain of 4.5lbs. I truly don't understand where I've gone wrong.

To say I'm devastated would be an understatement and I want to be honest with you, I cried. A 1lb gain or 2lb would have been hard but to gain such a large amount in a week especially as I'd been good for the rest of the week was heart breaking.

I know gains can happen and I've had gains, but never one so big. Everyone was saying,"That's not like you." The tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. I always tell people to look at the bigger picture and how far they've come but when it comes to myself, I'm finding it so hard to do.

My friends at the slimming group were telling me that it could be down to the kidney infection as it means I'm not flushing my system and getting rid of the water I'm taking in. It could be a reason but I don't want to look for excuses.

I pledged that I wouldn't make excuses. I just need to get back on track and work really hard to lose those stupid lbs that I've gained. It's time to take my own advice and look at the bigger picture. I'm going to have to work even harder to get to that 6st mark. Once I have hit the 6st mark, I'll post a picture so you can see the difference between my starting photo at the top of this blog, to where I am now.

It's the first time ever I haven't wanted to stay to group. I felt embarrassed and ashamed especially as I couldn't stop crying. Every time someone asked how I'd done, I would burst into floods of tears.

I would have gone home if my husband hadn't gone off for a wander around the town. I hadn't got my mobile phone with me so, therefore, I had to stay. I'm so pleased I did.

The group were so supportive and Dawn, my consultant, was too. She said, "What's happened has happened but you have to move on from it. Don't dwell on it as it will drag you down."

She's right, I do need to move on from it and keep myself motivated. So once I finish writing this weeks blog, I'm moving onwards and upwards. No more tears, just motivation and hard work.

Dawn also told me I could ring her any time and I know she genuinely means it. She's not one of those people who says it but secretly hopes you won't ring. She's there with you 110%, every step of the way and it's great to have someone who cares so much. She really is special.

Cold Weather Warmers

Many people have been saying how cold it's been this past week and how they would love some soup recipes that they could take to work in a flask rather than having sandwiches and salads. I'm including a couple of recipes that I've tried over the past few weeks. Let me know what you think.

Chunky Country Vegetable Soup (Serves 4 and is freezer friendly)

Ingredients

Fry Light
Large Onion (peeled and finely chopped)
2 Celery Sticks (thinly sliced)
2 Cloves of Garlic (peeled and finely chopped)
1 litre of Vegetable Stock
200g Carrots (peeled and sliced)
200g Potatoes (peeled and diced)
200g tinned haricot beans (rinsed and drained)
Salt and Ground Black Pepper
Chopped Chives to garnish

Method

1. Spray a non stick saucepan with the fry light and add the onion, garlic and celery. Stir fry for 2-3 mins on a medium heat.

2. Add the stock, carrots, potatoes and beans, bring to the boil and season well.

3. Reduce the heat to medium and cook for 10-12 mins

4. Serve with chopped chives

Roasted Tomato And Basil Soup (Serves 4 and is freezer friendly)

Ingredients

900g Ripe Tomatoes
Fry Light Spray
1tsp Dried Oregano
1 Large Onion peeled and finely chopped
2 Cloves of Garlic peeled and crushed
1 Litre of Hot Vegetable Stock
Salt and Ground Black Pepper
2tbsp chopped fresh basil
Roasted Cherry Tomatoes and Basil Leaves to garnish

Method

1. Arrange the tomatoes on a baking tray, spray with fry light and sprinkle with oregano. Bake in a preheated oven 200 degrees C/ gas mark 6 for 10-15 mins or until the tomatoes begin to soften and the skins begin to char.

2. Meanwhile, place the onion and garlic in a large heavy based saucepan with 300mls of the veg stock. Cover the pan and bring to the boil and simmer for 10 mins.

3. Peel and chop the roasted tomatoes and add to the cooked onion mixture along with the remaining veg stock. Simmer for 15 mins.

4. Puree the soup in a food processor or blender. Return back to the pan, season well and add the basil. Reheat if necessary and serve with roasted cherry tomatoes and basil leaves as a garnish.

Don't forget, if you are freezing the soup, let it cool before you freeze it.

If you try these recipes or any of the recipes on my past blogs, please let me know what you think. Why not add some of your own tips and recipes too. We all need the help and motivation, especially me after this weeks weigh in.

Hopefully next week I'll have some positive news and will have felt energised to lose the weight I gained. Remember, "There's no shame in a gain!" We all struggle from time to time, but we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back on it. It's too easy to walk away and give up but it's also too easy to put on the weight we've lost with so much more besides. Let's get cracking this week and see those results next week. Tune in next week to see if I manage it.

Hopefully, see you lighter next week,

Love Wendy xx