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On driving and all that crazy stuff

So here's my dilemma. I live in the UK and am a British citizen, but also retain USA citizenship.

For the better good of the entire country here, I don't drive. First of all, I can't affford your "driving schools" which are horribly over priced, and I have no desire to endanger the good (?) citizens of Darlington.

Because I still have a house in Pennsylvania also, I keep my American driver's license.

Ahem. Try to do what I'm doing, which is all entirely LEGAL and above board..and survive. I cannot.

I'm planning a trip back to Pennsylvania next Spring and am running into obstacles while trying to rent a car. (also American terminology, please forgive me) It seems that the good people here in the UK don't want to give me a car because I have a USA license and the good people in the USA have a hard time with me using a UK credit card to do anything American. What's a person to do?

Alas, if I could only flee BACK to where I belong, but what fun would that be? All these people couldn't torture me then now could they?

It seems you're supposed to "have a license from the country where your address is". OK. What if you're "ME" and have an address in two places and have NO DESIRE (did I already mention that?) to drive here in this country? In America, which is the land of the free and the home of the brave and known for "mom and apple pie", driving instructors are hard to come by. (Especially in the town of 10,000 where I come from.) You learn to drive from some poor family member, take your test and that's it. I did all that when I was 16 and certainly have no desire to do it again. The driving schools really have a racket going here from what I can see. You almost HAVE to take lessons or you won't pass the 99 part test that costs a million pounds. Give me a break.

Not to get political , but other races from other countries seem to get the breaks and the Americans, who are not looked upon highly, are given the proverbial shaft. Why? I should actually point out that Canadians are also included in all this, but I believe that a Canadian can move here and get a UK license with little or no problem and they don't have to take a test. WHY?

Canada drives on the same side of the road as the USA and 99.9 % of the cars are automatic. That qualifies them to drive in the UK??

Bright girl here CAN drive, and prefers to drive a stick, but it seems I'm being punished for not paying the exorbitant fees here and learning how to drive "UK style" AND getting a license which I would probably not use. Please advise. I'm all out of options. (and money)

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