You Ken do it! (From The Northern Echo)

You Ken do it!

5:06pm Monday 12th December 2011 in Cockfield

Football supporters in Cockfield are generally split into four camps, Newcastle, Sunderland, Middlesbrough and ‘the rest’ i.e.: Man U, Liverpool etc. Tupper falls into the last category and being a Man U supporter, the lad likes nothing more than giving the rest of us a bit of stick but, Tupper being Tupper, he never gets it quite right!

On Saturday night the mood amongst the Newcastle contingent was down beat. The magpies have only gained one point from their last four games and are dropping down the Premier League faster than Kenny Rowe can sup a pint. A few of the lads were discussing their recent poor form when ‘our hero’ Tupper entered the fray. With a glint in his eyes, Tupper shouts over to Andrew Crow and with a voice intended for the rest of the pub to hear shouts “The wheels have dropped off at Newcastle and you’ve had the same man sent off twice in three games!”

“What are you going on about?” retorts Acrow. “Gutierrez was sent off against Man U and Gosling was sent off today.” “Well,” says Tupper, “They BOTH begin with G!”

As I mentioned in the last blog, Saturday night in the Middle House was ‘party time’ to celebrate Patty and Sas’s first year as tenants. It was a great night and I thought I would have a laugh with Kayleigh Howe. Kayleigh has been working behind the bar for several months now and I have to say she makes a terrific barmaid.

Over the last few weeks I have won a few drinks tokens and Kayleigh has been asking me why I had so many. The truth is, I’d run out but, seeing as the canny lass was still asking about them I bought £20 worth off Patty and decided to keep the deception going, telling her I had a ‘press’ around home and was making my own. Making sure only Kayleigh served me that night, the tokens kept on coming!

Now to be fair, Kayleigh is loyal to her employers and by Sunday evening told me I was ‘doing her head in’ and she was going to tell Andrew and Sas all about my scheme to defraud them as she feared for her job if I wasn’t paying my way. At this point Mrs. Blog spilled the beans to Kayleigh and, to put it mildly, the canny barmaid was ’disgusted’ with my behaviour!

Sorry Kayleigh, it won’t happen again!!

Although much of ‘late’ Saturday night is a bit of blur, I do remember Bernice Kipling coming over to me and asking if anyone had organised a speech to thank Patty and Sas for the evening they had put on and generally turning the pub around during the year. They hadn’t!

“You’re the man to do it Nige!” says Bernice.

“You’re the man to do it!?” Well, I thank Bernice for the sentiment but I couldn’t help thinking of last weeks Coronation Street story line where there was nobody to speak at the tram crash memorial and someone told Ken Barlow ‘he was just the man to do it’!

My God, am I now Cockfields answer to KEN BARLOW? NOT a nice thought!