DARLINGTON hosted Gloucester City on Saturday, National League North-ish, the column made equally welcome in the boardroom on a wholly unplanned visit.

One or two eyebrows were admittedly raised at the Arsenal scarf; probably a good thing the Shildon bobble hat remained concealed in me pocket.

Finally back in town, it was the Quakers’ third match at the Blackwell Meadows ground which now they share with Darlington Rugby Club, the 1,837 crowd considerably more than some in the old fourth division.

The programme featured a 2-1 win against Crewe Alexandra – Bruce Grobbelaar in Crewe’s goal – in 1980-81, the Feethams gate just 1,304. Another five attendances that season failed to top Saturday’s – and back then Darlington finished eighth.

The old Tin Shed is rebuilt, regalvanised. It lifted, tintinnabulated even.

Blackwell Meadows still isn’t Feethams, of course. Nowhere in football was quite like cosy, cuddly Feethams – nor for different reasons, like the George Reynolds Arena, either. If they can recreate the tin shed, couldn’t they do something about resurrecting that Spratt’s dog food advert, too?

Save for the pies, most heeded the adage that comparisons are odious. “I don’t know why it is,” someone said, “but I’ve never had a pie like they used to sell at Feethams.”

The programme also revealed plans to ask the FA to let the club drop the disliked 1883 suffix, required after the original club went into liquidation, and that the annual meeting later this month will hear of a loss. It may be cosmetic, but the formal name was never once acknowledged. They are Darlington.

It was the third sport, the others rugby and American football, that the column has seen on the same field. That may be a record. In the National League North-ish, Gloucester lost 2-0 and faced a 226.7 mile journey home.

IMPOSSIBLE to proceed without wishing a full and fast recovery to former FIFA referee George Cortney, recovering from a heart attack in Manchester last Friday. The old Butcher’s Dog, 75, is expected home in Middlestone Moor soon.

LAST week’s note on the passing of long serving former Shildon BR fast bowler Fred Brownless recalls a match at Medomsley in which, despite heavy rain, the umpires shared the Water Rat’s view about a little wet.

Padded up, Fred prepared to bat in plastic mac and rain hood and was stopped en route by Medomsley committee man Peter Puckering, Durham’s chief constable, who asked if Fred knew who he was.

Fred said that he didn’t, asked if the stranger knew who he was and received the same reply. “Good,” said Fred, and proceeded in a sou-westerly direction to the wicket.

KEVIN BALL: the bounce. Last week’s column suggested – how may this be put? – a certain robustness in the former Sunderland skipper’s play.

The thought’s shared by Nick Loughlin, who recalls the grandly titled North East Media Masters, a six-a-side tournament around seven years ago in which Bally guested for The Northern Echo and former Newcastle United man Kevin Gallacher (four goals in 39 games, 1999-2001) for the Evening Chronicle.

Artificial pitch, just minutes gone, Bally went through Gallacher like an express train, says Nick. “Kevin flew in the air, landed, and spent the next couple of minutes on his haunches trying to get his breath back before hobbling off.”

Nick insists that the tackle was hard, firm but fair – “but clearly the Sunderland-Newcastle rivalry still lingered.”

SHUFFLING along a bit, Brian Lawton picked up all seven doubles playing 5s and 3s for Guisborough Town FC against the town’s cricket club. What, we’re asked, are the odds? The column’s had a hand in this one several times previously – according to our mathematical mate Robert Bacon it’s 1,108,040-1.

LAST week’s Mansfield meanderings recalled Sir Alan Meale, the south Durham lad and 11+ failure who’s been the Nottinghamshire town’s MP since 1987.

Former Darlington director Peter Ellis remembers many board room encounters with Alan and cigar smoking Mansfield chairman Keith Haslam when the Quakers met the Stags.

One night at Feethams, Peter recalls, Haslam had gone down to the touchline to remonstrate with the players, obliging the linesman (“as then they were called”) to summon the referee.

Still clutching his cigar, Haslam asked the ref if he knew who he was. “No, bit I know where you’re going,” said the ref, and pointed towards the stand.

Was it, wonders Peter, the only time that a club chairman has been sent from the field?

WE’D also noted that, in 1987, Alan Meale’s majority of just 56 was the country’s smallest – prompting an email from retired Bishop Auckland bookie Billy Neilson. “Credit even for that majority,” he says, “was attributed to the last week visit of Bishop Auckland MP Derek Foster and his election agent, Billy Neilson.”

THOUGH Mansfield’s distinctly UK mainland, the same piece supposed “subcontinental” to be the only word in the English language with all five vowels in consecutive reverse order. What about uncomplimentary, asks Eric Gendle in Middlesbrough, kindly? Another could be duolinear – double-lined – Eric muses. “Unfortunately,” he adds, “it doesn’t seem to exist.”

….AND finally, last week’s column sought the towns in which five Wetherspoons pubs were located. The Rohan Kanhai’s in Ashington, the Harry Clasper (named after a champion oarsman) in Whickham, the Stanley Jefferson (aka Stan Laurel) in Bishop Auckland, the Thomas Sheraton in Stockton and the William Wouldhave in South Shields, where he invented the self-righting lifeboat.

Paul Clement, who took over last week as manager of Swansea City, is only the tenth Englishman since 1960 to manage a top flight club without ever having played in the Premiership or Football League. The North-East’s big three each had the services one of the others. Before next week’s column, readers are invited to name them.