Stressing over childhood

MANY of us may think that stress and anxiety are part of adult life, not really affecting children. After all the so-called “happiest days of our lives” are often perceived as fun-filled snapshots, with smiling little children surrounded by friends and toys, with none of the concerns or pressures, financial or otherwise, imposed by adult life.

And while it may be obvious that childhood experiences such as domestic violence, abuse, and the loss of a parent or close family member may have long-lasting effects, what is now becoming more apparent is that so-called positive stressors, for example academic examinations and competition in sports, as well as the desire to fit in and conform as portrayed in social media, may be contributing to an epidemic in childhood mental health.

The statistics make uneasy reading, with one in ten children from 5 to 16 in the UK suffering with a diagnosable mental health disorder, with some as young as seven expressing concerns regarding future employability.

As alluded to above, there is now a feeling that experiences previously perceived as character building, such as failing an exam, or not performing well on the sports field, are now actually detrimental to the child’s overall development. Indeed this has gone so far that a group of parents are now exempting their children from school on exam days, in the hope of reducing this stress.

Research shows that in the same way that excessive exercise may retard the proper development of the growing physique, excess and prolonged psychological strain during childhood may impair brain development, with noticeable negative effects later on in life.

It is important to recognise that not all stress is bad. Indeed a certain amount of stress is needed for daily functioning. There are circumstances in which anxiety is normal; for example separation anxiety in little children when they first attend nursery, or when meeting new people, or perhaps trying out a new experience. Indeed negative stresses, for example personal illness or the death of a close relative can be turned into positive experiences with the development of emotional growth and resilience, with the guidance and patience of a loving adult.

Stress may become detrimental when the child perceives there is an expectation upon them, for example to be an academic high flier, or a sporting ace, or indeed to be able fit in with all their peers.

If your child is shy and quiet, it may be difficult to recognise if they are stressed and indeed all children exhibit normal variation in mood, dependent on current circumstances. However if you notice that they are withdrawn or removed, or show little emotion or indeed interest in their surroundings, these may be warning signs. In the same way, deterioration in academic performance or problems with behaviour at school may also be signs of childhood stress. At first it may be enough to sit down with them and have a chat about how they are feeling. Encourage your child to open up and try not to belittle their worries. What may seem trivial for an adult may be a big issue for a child with much less life experience. Ultimately, if you are worried your GP is a good first point of call with whom both you and your child can explore the problem.

The good news is that there is a vast amount of simple things that you can do to hopefully reduce the chance of your child developing anxiety, stress and low mood. Children thrive in a loving environment, where they feel safe and secure, but where there are clear boundaries. Being affectionate and reassuring with your children goes a long way to promoting good mental health. Finding out what they are currently into, be it sports, reading or indeed any hobby is a great way of bonding with your children. Try not to put too much pressure on them to achieve academic greatness; children develop at different rates, and attempting to rush this may cause your child to regress. Avoid the temptation to mould them into your own image, or indeed that which you would want them to be. The biggest predictor of childhood stress is what they see at home. Children are massive observers of adult behaviour and if you are visibly stressed, this may rub off on your child. Finding positive ways of coping with your own problems, as opposed to losing temper or seeking solace in harmful substances, will not only improve your own physical and mental wellbeing, but will send out positive signals to your children which they may carry with them for a lifetime.