It could end up being the busiest hour of the week… Asda are trying “a quiet hour” in one of their Manchester stores. Ostensibly for people with autism who are often overwhelmed by noisy surroundings, it’s an experiment in making the store as quiet as possible. No music. No ding-dong announcements. No TVs all switched to different channels.

Sounds absolutely blissful. There will also be no escalators, which might be a step too far, but still. Shopping in silence will be a real treat for us all. Music in shops is generally an abomination. Not just for staff and customers but for passers by as it spills out into the street. Maybe it’s meant to lull us into spending more money but it’s more likely to jangle our nerves and shorten our tempers and just make us want to get out as quickly as possible.

The absolute worst, of course, are Christmas carols in sickly American accents warbling “Silent Night” when you can barely get your trolley down a crowded aisle and are feeling very far from festive.

Maybe the saddest music was when Marks and Spencer food hall played “Blowing in the Wind”. The young, intense Dylan being used to sell £10 meal deals and posh sandwiches. A part of my 1960s hippy, idealist soul died a little that day.

Loud music in pubs is a blatantly cynical move. It discourages conversation and makes us all drink more but in shops it can’t be good for anything. The trouble is that we live with a constant background of low level noise that’s turning us deaf. Our ancestors could hear the crack of a twig. Our great-grandchildren will probably miss the sound of a crashing tree.

So Asda could be on to a winner. Let’s hope other stores copy them – and not just for an hour a week.

AIDAN Turner has admitted – in a Radio Times interview – that perhaps his bare-chested scything technique in Poldark wasn’t quite authentic. Like we noticed….

Meanwhile, I’m hooked on the Welsh crime series Hinterland on BBC4 – very dark, sort of Cymru-noir. Much of it is set in the small hill farms above Aberystwyth where characters are battling through muck-covered yards dealing with sheep, felling trees, driving in fencing poles. Unlike Poldark, they all look amazingly authentic. They really seem to know what they’re doing. Impressive. Unfortunately and probably because of the Welsh weather, they also all keep their clothes on – ragged rugby shirts, holey jumpers. Also very authentic.

But perhaps not quite so pleasing to the eye…

SO it snowed n Tuesday. No surprise there. What do you expect from an English spring?

Exactly 35 years ago, also on April 26, it was even worse with half the country brought to a standstill. We were invited to the official opening of Baldersdale youth hostel, (up to Teesdale and turn left) suitably remote and all roads blocked by snow. Somehow, the last bit trudging through knee high snow, The Northern Echo team – husband, photographer and I, managed to struggle through – unlike the great and good from the YHA. Wimps.

We looked like a group of yetis and, unsurprisingly, the warden, all on his own with a sumptuous feast prepared for the top brass, was stunned to see us. But we made tea from melted snow and polished off the chocolate cake. It was the best cake ever.

Then we trudged back up the fellside to the car and slithered down the dale.

Snow in April? Ever since then I’ve almost expected it.

MORE women over 65 are getting married says new research. Numbers have soared by a third. Perhaps it’s late romance, or maybe because they want to get their hands on a chap’s pension. There are worse reasons for marriage.

But the odd thing is that there’s been only a tiny increase in the number of men over 65 getting married. So who are these older ladies marrying?

Either they’re marrying other women – always possible – or they’re all grabbing themselves a toy boy.

Which suddenly makes retirement seem much more interesting…

AMONG the many things I may never do – bungee jumping, being a Playboy centrefold, buying a Cliff Richard album – you could definitely put spending £13,000 on a handbag. I mean…but why?

The Hermes Kelly handbag is so much in demand that apparently there’s now a waiting list for a waiting list. It costs £6,000. They’re hand made from the best leather with clasps made of gold and silver.

Victoria Beckham, naturally, has lots of them, about a hundred in every colour and even with diamonds on. A trifle OTT, wouldn’t you say? Her Hermes collection alone is said to be worth $2million. On handbags.

Meanwhile, second-hand “preloved” bags are on offer on websites for £13,000. Now I love a good handbag as much as anyone, especially beautiful leather. But £13,000? Second-hand? Even if I won the lottery I would hesitate on that – as I would with gold plated iPhones and solid silver Marmite jars, all of which have been designed solely to show off how rich you are.

Simpler, maybe, just to hang your bank statement round your neck – and about as subtle.

STELLA McCartney’s newly-revealed.designs for Britain’s Olympic team-wear are interesting, not least Tom Daley’s swimming cossie. His briefs are so teeny tiny there’s hardly any room for a design. Goodness knows how they’ll stay on.

Taking a high dive in them is alone probably worth a medal for bravery – and a sharp intake of breath from spectators.