THE main character in Chris Bostock’s story for two to six-year-olds is a possum, which he made out of a large white handkerchief.

If it looked like a possum, I wouldn’t have known since my only encounter with possums comes from the term of endearment that Dame Edna Everage uses.

I would question whether the average small British child would have a clue what one looked like. I had to look it up. A possum, or ‘opossum’ is a small marsupial with very sharp teeth that looks like a rat. It varies in size from tiny to as big as a house cat and is originally from South America.

So, back to the story: the possum goes on a journey through the dark woods to find a river to get some crayfish for tea. Crayfish - really?

The possum doesn’t like the dark - very strange for a creature that Google tells me is nocturnal.

To light his way, the possum has collected starlight in a little box, which is a lovely bit of magic.

But quite frankly that tiny bit of brilliance doesn’t compensate for the rest of the show, which was tedious, too long and the creatures he met along the way were unconvincing, especially the rabbit with a Belfast accent.

Bostock, dressed in a patchwork waistcoat with his long grey hair tied in a ponytail, was way too patronising and all too soon the children began to fidget, and I got to wondering if the local supermarket sold crayfish. They don’t. Point made?

Review: Helen Brown