WE have nice memories of The Stables. In the distant years before children, my wife and I would often go to the pleasant country pub – just off the A1 at Coatham Mundeville, on the outskirts of Darlington – to relax and have something to eat.

Indeed, it was from a pay-phone in a quiet corner that we nervously made the call to the doctor’s surgery, confirming my wife’s first pregnancy.

Then, when the children were small, we’d often be there on summer days, happily sitting at a table on the grass outside the conservatory, where an aviary, teeming with birds, kept the little ones entertained and a peacock strutted his stuff.

A recent piece in The Northern Echo inspired a return visit. World Cup winner Jack Charlton had cut the ribbon at a re-launch event following a refurbishment at The Stables and the newly-named Oswald’s Restaurant in the adjacent Hall Garth Hotel.

Not sure whether to go for the fine dining at Oswald’s, or make do with pub grub at The Stables, I checked the website. A week after Wor Jackie had cut the ribbon, the hotel restaurant was still branded as The Wine Glass restaurant so I called to a) check that it was the same menu and b) make the reservation for last Saturday evening.

I tried four times to get through before the phone was finally answered and took a deep breath before asking if the menu for The Wine Glass restaurant was the same as for Oswald’s.

“Oh, I don’t know,” replied the receptionist.

To be fair, she swiftly emailed copies of menus for both Oswald’s and The Stables, and I noticed at the start of this week that the website has now been updated. It just seemed odd to go to the trouble of getting a World Cup winner down to do the honours and then to not have the new branding in place.

Three of the four children were available for Saturday evening and we all opted for The Stables for old time’s sake.

The aviary’s long gone, as has the peacock, but the pub didn’t really feel that different, except that it’s now a sports bar. Sporting memorabilia photographs are scattered on the walls, there’s a big screen to show football matches in the conservatory, and a pool table has been squeezed into an inadequate section of the lounge (believe me, it’s not easy to play pool with one leg up on the seats and your cue hitting the wall).

The barman assured us that the new owners – North of England Estates Ltd – has also invested in new kitchens, carpets and curtains.

When we arrived at 7pm, members of a wedding party had spilled over from the hotel into the conservatory to watch the Arsenal versus Manchester City game. Once the final whistle had blown, the place was more or less deserted, which isn’t a good sign on a Saturday evening.

The order for starters comprised tomato and basil soup for me, classic prawn cocktail for my wife, while the offspring shared deep-fried brie wedges. All were £4.50, apart from the prawn cocktail which was £5.

Main courses featured steak and mushroom pie (£10) for me, battered cod £10) for my wife, Hall Garth chicken parmesan (£10.50) for our daughter, and gnocchi in tomato sauce (£9.50) for both sons.

“How do you spell that?” asked the barman when I got to the gnocchi. He didn’t appear to believe me when I told him, so I showed him the menu.

He then went on to ask the most bizarre question I’ve ever been asked in a restaurant: “Do you want your starters to come out first?”

Somehow, I resisted the temptation to suggest we might as well kick off with the desserts and simply replied: “Yes please.”

The food was served quickly and politely and everything was nice and hot. My soup was quite tasty, my wife enjoyed her classic prawn cocktail and the wedges went down well enough. My steak and mushroom pie (£10) came with chunky home-made chips, but not a vegetable to be seen. Surely, it wouldn’t have hurt to chuck a few peas or carrots on the side?

The crust was a kind of large oatmeal biscuit, which would have made a good frisbee, and was plonked on a bowl of rather bog standard steak pieces. It was pretty basic and, sadly, “basic” was the word which kept springing to mind about the whole place.

The Hall Garth Hotel is in a lovely location but, at least as far as The Stables is concerned, it’s basic food in a basic environment. It lacks atmosphere and some imagination on the menu.

We didn’t bother with desserts and, with drinks, our bill came to £88.80. While no one had any particular complaints about their food, it just wasn’t good enough to make us want to go back.

We’ll always have those nice family memories of The Stables but, with due respect to Wor Jackie, I think it’s all over.

Food facts

Hall Garth Hotel,
Golf and Country Club,
Coatham Mundeville,
Darlington,
County Durham,
DL1 3LU 
Telephone: 01325-300400.
Website: hallgarthdarlington.co.uk

Food: 2/5 stars
Ambience: 1/5 stars
Service: 2/5 stars
Value for money: 2/5 stars