Heartbeat: Newcastle Theatre Royal

IT’S your favourite Sunday night Sixties Yorkshire CopDram/Com! It’s on the stage, not on the telly! ‘Ey up. Theatre is a vampire with expensive tastes, so it’s great to see some new blood, from ITV and their audience in the house.

The cast have that all-important authentic TV star quality – in the diverse shapes of David Lonsdale and Steven Blakeley playing David Stockwell and PC Geoff Younger respectively, the parts they played in the show which ran for an impressive 18 series. These two have a natural rapport which the audience adores. The stage show also has a charismatic Nick Berry lookalike Matt Milburn as the… heart-throb PC Joe Malton.

The set, all pretend stone and heather and with a well-oiled revolve certainly looks the part. The story is a gentle who’s the wrong ‘un? plot and the writers know their audience very well. The fans seemed to enjoy it and squealed at the brief moments of audience interaction. They laughed at the stuffed dog toy. They sang along to the brief bits of music between scenes. For the person who has never been to the theatre, fair enough.

But the production values are so amateur they insult. We have coke glasses rather than proper beer mugs. Where I wanted an authentic vintage touch, I was disappointed. A well as items of costume and set dressing, the direction is lazy. Lines of actors on the stage. Little real build-up of dramatic tension. A style which lurches into bad pantomime. A desire for inventiveness and attention to detail were woefully missing here. The cast and the audience deserve an entirely more arresting production.

* Runs until Saturday (May 28). Box Office: 08448-112121 or theatreroyal.co.uk

Sarah Scott