Never assume anything when dealing with people. It can only lead to trouble

I RECENTLY had a disagreement with a council worker who is convinced that the definition of customer service is to give the customer exactly what they ask for; no questions, no extra offerings, just exactly what’s requested. He argued that it wasn’t our job to try and persuade customers to try anything other than what they initially think they want and that we should always assume that they know what they want.

But as, a few months ago, we took over the running of the brand new Seaham Town Hall on behalf of Seaham Town Council, it means we’ve recently been hosting our first weddings at the Hall. Initially brides (and it usually is the bride rather than the groom) come to us with some pretty fixed ideas as to what they’d like at their wedding. They’ve seen our wedding brochure and chosen a menu, looked in some wedding magazines and chosen a wedding theme and so on. But we have to remember that, usually, these brides are young and inexperienced. And while they may have some clear ideas about what they want, this is based on limited information and there’s chance they might want something they don’t yet know about. We don’t want them to turn around some time after their wedding day and suddenly wish that they’d done it a lot differently, just because we assumed the customer must be right.

Unsurprisingly, after a few questions and suggestions from us, they often ask for changes and choose a tailored package that more closely suits their needs which, hopefully, makes their day that bit more special. It may cost them more - or just as likely less. But it does make for a happier bride, groom and guests. And happy customers are repeat customers which benefits our business and so everyone’s happy.

This is all based on heeding one of the best bits of advice I’ve ever been given: never assume anything. It means not taking things at face value, but using your brain and experience. It’s something I’ve grown to accept over the years of serving customers and it means that while experience has made me a better judge of character upon meeting someone new, I always need to be careful not to make too many assumptions.

So it was a surprise to find that I’d totally forgotten my own rules at a dinner at our house this last weekend. One of the guests was particularly special: a fine upstanding pillar of local society, a long-time professional at the peak of his career with a lifetime of wide experience. Obviously a man like that will have travelled the world. And while I’d find cooking for him an honour, it’d also be a doddle because, with so much experience, he’d be a man who knew what he liked.

So, why had he never tried prawns? Yes, prawns. Those little pink things found lying on limp lettuce while smothered with tomato ketchup-flavoured salad cream throughout the 1970s and 1980s. He’d never tried them. Not “Oh I tried them and didn’t like them” or “Sorry, I’m allergic to them after having eaten a dodgy one while rafting the Amazon”. No, he’d just never got around to it. Obviously he’d been too busy being remarkably good at what he does and, as he’s obviously much in demand, fulfilling the invitations with which he’s no doubt inundated. Or, as I’d left the prawns unpeeled, maybe it was their little eyes.

Whichever, I realised I’d assumed wrong. I also assumed that he’d be brilliant company, with intelligent, witty repartee, well-considered argument, informed analysis and oodles of charm. Luckily I got that right. But he still didn’t try a prawn. I assumed he would.