SOME women are unlucky in love. Like Gail the hamster in Coronation Street (ITV1) whose form in the marital stakes is as poor as a three-legged horse in the Derby. Her husbands include a serial killer, an insurance swindler and a man who cheated on her. She never learns from her mistakes, evidenced by her marrying mechanic Brian Tilsley twice.

Wedding number six is fast approaching to burglar Michael, who broke into her house before breaking her heart. He has a dicky ticker and liable to pop his clogs at any minute. They're probably taking bets in the Rovers whether he'll make it through the wedding night.

He's certainly stressed as he waits for his bride to arrive at the ceremony. She's late – and for good reason. Michael's son has turned up on her doorstep which is confusing because he's not the man who's been claiming to be Michael's long-lost son Gavin for the past few months. Little did Gail know that Gavin's flatmate, Andy, has been posing as Gavin for reasons that even Freud would be hard pushed to understand.

The real Gavin shows Gail his credentials (it's okay, there's no law against it), namely a passport and driving licence, proving he really is Gavin. But who knows what the shock might do to Michael and his dodgy heart? So Gavin asks for £2,500 to go away again and save his father's life. Well, you know what they say: better wed than dead.

Gail's luck doesn't get any better. Gavin drops dead (so that heart condition was hereditary) and Michael learns his recent heart operation wasn't successful. Broken hearts all round.

Back in church Weatherfield's new vicar, the Rev Billy, is planning his first fund-raising event in the wake of his romance with Sean. Some residents aren't ready for these new-fangled ideas like gay men. Emily is more used to working with a man of the cloth whose favourite hymn is All Things Bright and Beautiful not YMCA. Her idea of a missionary position is somewhat different.

Kat continues to go off the rails in EastEnders (BBC1). She's strapped for cash, but doesn't want to take dead uncle Harry's inheritance money because he abused her when she was a child. The memory has driven her to drink, but hopefully not caused her to drink and drive. She has a cash flow problem, made worse when her market stall stock is stolen and she loses her pitch.

Getting a job offer from Mad Max – in admin at the car lot – might not be the answer. The pair have a history of unacceptable couplings with men (her) and women (him). Will they be able to resist each other, or will the portable building rock and roll with passion?

Which beings us back to weddings again in Emmerdale (ITV1) where Bob Hope's estranged daughter, Carly, turns up in her wedding dress with a request that father Bob gives her away like a free gift with a packet of Persil. This is her fifth engagement, putting her on a par with Gail the hamster when it comes to choosing suitable men. It seems as though she's got cold feet about her wedding – which means Bob had better clear out the spare room and prepare for a lodger.

Laurel should be aware of the dangers of drink as she downs enough booze to keep Alcoholics Anonymous occupied for a few weeks. To calm her nerves before a job interview, Laurel pours herself a large glass of vodka and leaves it unattended. Enter little April who thinks its water. Soon there's one very drunk little girl stumbling around.