A vet's world

IF it wasn’t for his many lapses into bad language, then Welsh wizard of comedy Rhod Gilbert would be a primetime award-winner for this series which follows up last week’s hilarious effort to become a trawlerman with the vexatious world of being a vet.

The man from Carmarthen opted for Budget Vets, in Newport, and was swiftly informed by practice manager Peter that his experiences were likely to put him off treating animals for life..

His first job is to assist puppies with feeding and then the after-effects of food – poo-bag at the ready. The queue for inspection by this time includes ducklings, a gannet and a “disgusting” snake in a bag, although not all at the same time. Theatre mask at the ready, Gilbert has to hang onto his breakfast during a cat castration before returning to doggy duties with Buddy, who is suffering from a severe case of constipation. Luckily, his mask again comes in useful when facing flying faeces.

Next comes artificial insemination and Dotty the pig. The porker takes a shine to Gilbert who is now the master of feigning distaste for our amusement. The jokes are over when Oscar, a Staffordshire bull terrier, is brought and it soon becomes obvious that the dog is so weak that he will have to be put down. Faced with surgery staff struggling not to show their emotions, our work experience candidate plays it straight, particularly when there is no time to mourn Oscar. A vet’s life goes on.

The comic says his day was one of the most emotionally challenging he’s had in five seasons of filming. “Everywhere you go it is a challenge to break the ice with the staff because inevitably you feel in the way sometimes, especially when you’ve got a dying animal on your hands. But it’s been good – really tough,” he says.

And it still isn’t over. He asks Poppy the rescue centre dog to trust “Uncle Rhod” and is noticeably anxious about the sedated animal, which has come in to be neutered. Much to Gilbert’s delight, viewers later learn that she had been re-homed.

Next week, there’s likely to be a little more to laugh about as Gilbert becomes a hotelier for the day. Which takes us to....

Alex Polizzi: The Fixer (BBC2, 8pm)

THE hotelier turned Hotel Inspector and small business guru finished her current series by coming to the aid of Sebastien Latour, whose dream job of owning a pet shop has put a strain on his finances as well as his relationship with co-worker and boyfriend Karl.

The businesswoman explains: "I'm only too aware of the stresses, strains and occasional pleasures of being involved in a family business. Owners of family businesses work incredibly hard and contribute enormously to our economy.

"I don't think I'm nearly as strident in real life as the show makes me appear, in that, as you know, it compresses reality. I've spent eight days with these people and a lot of the time I've been patting their shoulder and going, 'There, there, there'. That makes boring telly so you don't see it."

Kid Criminals (Channel 4, 10pm)

AS this at times shocking documentary wraps up, we meet Jason-Caleb Hill, who was caught breaking into an apartment and stealing a gun - but he could be freed within six months if he completes his treatment programme.

"I used to have no remorse at all... I think life is a big intersection with many roads; life can go however we make it," HE SAYS.

Meanwhile, Amanda Artyamsoal is in prison for her involvement in a fatal arson attack that made national headlines. However, her 18th birthday is four weeks away, and she hopes to be out by then.

Other offending youngsters include Cyleina Briggs, who is spending some of her ten-year sentence at Madison Institutional Facility for girls, rather than an adult prison, and 15-year-old Nathaniel Johnson, who has taken 18 months to finish his course - three times longer than most of the other inmates.