Chris Webber can’t claim to be cool, but he can tackle a smoke-on-site burger at Darlington’s Hoboken Grill

IN my defence, in these trendy burger bars where the young staff are cooler than cool with super-fashionable jeans and chic tops, it can be hard to know exactly who are the waiters. So my apologies to the slightly startled young, trendy couple who this decidedly unfashionable, middle-aged, be-suited man marched up to demanding a table, a menu and, most importantly, an alcoholic drink.

They were simply hanging around, waiting to get served themselves, and they had the good grace to laugh. Naturally, being English, I spent the rest of the meal desperately trying to avoid their eye, which was not easy in this small, cosy venue in Darlington's Duke Street.

Still, hopes were high for the food. In fact, having read the online reviews, they were sky high. “Hoboken is, without doubt, the most amazing meal my partner and I have had as a couple,” said one.

Perhaps they'd only been going out for a week because, really, Hoboken is a simple American burger joint.

But it is a burger joint with style. All the meat is smoked on-site and there are rustic, at-home table features. Instead of napkins there are tea towels and there’s nothing as fancy as a tablecloth: we eat at a distressed wooden table. It’s all designed to make you relax and feel at home – and it works.

However, the food was served in baking trays – yes, baking trays –which may be a step too far.

I had enjoyed the website pitch used to make funny, tortured links between Hoboken, home of Frank Sinatra and On the Waterfront and Darlington. I smiled at: “Like Darlington’s bigger, brasher cousin, Hoboken was the site of the first American steam railway...let’s all celebrate this tenuous link with, burgers, brisket and beer.”

The waitress (the real one, and yes, she was wearing trendy jeans) had the same laid-back style and was friendly, quick to smile and quick with information.

My earlier embarrassment over, I began to relax over my beer. Even the lager fits with the old-time America theme. Called Anchor Steam, it’s not cheap at £3.50 a bottle, but the blurb says it was created in 1876, long before modern refrigeration made traditional lagers a California option, thanks to an ice pond found in the mountains during the Gold Rush. It’s nice and cold and I decided I wanted to believe the story as I scan the menu.

The food is relatively, pleasingly cheap and the menu disarmingly simple. They don’t do starters, but will serve up side-orders quickly if you’re really hungry. They all don’t sound that appealing. "Burnt ends" are apparently charred beef brisket tips, and "hush puppies" are cheesy beer-battered corn doughnuts, a depression-era favourite, no doubt for reasons of financial desperation.

Others sound much nicer and are everyday; onion rings, fries, buffalo wings... classic American burger joint fare.

We decided to go for the main course and I had the burger that bears the restaurant’s name, the Hoboken Burger. It costs £7 but if you want anything else other than the burger, including salad or fries, it costs another £2. The meat is tender, smoked in-house for more than 14 hours, and on its own is very good. But the taste is obscured by some sort of salty mess, like deep-fried strands of onion ring batter, on the top. At least it had the virtue of being easy to scrape off.

My partner, Simone, had the chicken and chorizo burger, also £7 with some coleslaw at another £1.50. It had that lovely, smoky, paprika chorizo taste and was filling.

We enjoyed it as a kind of relatively cheap, midweek dinner. It was relaxed and had an element of fun with a nice atmosphere with eager-to-please staff and we would recommend it – although not as much that ecstatic online reviewer. Surprisingly for a restaurant based on the cuisine of the land of the super-size, go-large, gut-buster burger there are reasonably healthy, vegetarian options.

But, in the line of duty, we decided to forget healthiness and asked about puddings. There was nothing on the menu, but we were told home-made ice-cream was available but that was all and, on a cold night, we didn’t fancy it. “Our owner sometimes makes home-made puddings and brings them in though,” said our waitress. We liked the homeliness of that and it made me want to come back to try my luck at getting a real, home-made dessert another time.

There’s an extensive cocktails list for those who may want to stay longer although, while eating out of a baking tray, it didn’t quite feel quite grand enough for a cocktails night. It’s beer and burgers in a homely atmosphere and it’s fine.

Hoboken Grill,

36, Duke Street, Darlington DL3 7AQ

Tel: 01325-486620

hobokengrill.com

Ambience: 3/5

Service: 4/5

Food quality: 3/5

Value for money: 3/5