I THOUGHT we'd seen the last of Cilla. Didn't they axe Blind Date, replace her on Surprise Surprise and make a series about her life for ITV? Hang on a minute, I'm getting mixed up. It's not that Cilla, it's the other Cilla. Cilla Battersby-Brown, who was last seen treading the cobbles of Coronation Street (ITV1) seven years ago. With a handbag stuffed with ten pound notes inherited from a dead boyfriend, she moved away, no doubt trying to forget the incident in the jacuzzi with a dog named Schmeichel (although I believe the video is a bestseller in certain shops).

Her kids Fiz and Chesney have suffered enough having her for a mother ,but it's a shock when she turns up on their doorstep. It appears she hasn't been far away – living in Wolverhampton. The pull of Weatherfield has proved too much but what's the real reason for this particular rover's return?

To be honest, Peter Barlow isn't much bothered by her re-appearance. He has other things on his mind as the jury deliver their verdict. He's innocent (of murder if not excessive drinking and bed-hopping), but all the evidence points the finger at him as being the killer of his mistress Temptress Tina. He faces the rest of his life in jail if a guilty verdict is returned. One man who's keeping his fingers crossed that Peter will go down is Rotten Rob, the real murderer.

While inside, Peter's been supping Jim McDonald's home brew and it nearly killed him. This is upsetting Jim's son, Steve, whose mental state is as precarious as Britain's balance of payments. When he learns that Jim's been blackmailing ex-wife Liz into visiting him, it's too much for Steve who grasses on his dad about his boozy exploits behind bars.

Stacey has a new boyfriend in EastEnders (BBC1), but before you start making wedding plans I should point out that her latest fella is a rapist. Step forward Dean. She rejected him before for Bradley, who unfortunately fell off a roof before they could walk down the aisle. Now Stacey and Dean are thrown together as he offers to rent her a room in his flat.

Stacey is also getting friendly with Linda who's been unable to tell anyone about Dean's assault, even when Stacey is giving her a new hairdo. Stacey, of course, killed the man who sexually assaulted her so I don't rate Dean's chances if she finds out what hideous things he's been doing.

The gloom continues for Alfie and Kat Slater. They have nowhere to live, thanks to Alfie setting their home on fire for the insurance and Kat bears the scars of the blaze. So what does Alfie do? Buy her a sexy and revealing new dress, of course. Not exactly what she wants to wear while her scars are healing. What's it all about Alfie? as Cilla once warbled.

Actually, Cilla isn't the only familiar face back in Soapland. Robert Sugden returns in Emmerdale (ITV1), but he's not quite the man we knew. He looks different, but that's not why his adoptive brother Handy Andy punches his lights out when he claps eyes on him.

Andy's planning his wedding to his ex Katie, who had a fling with Robert while married to Andy last time round. Robert's engaged to someone else now, but that does little to appease Andy's worries that his bride-to-be will run off with Robert again. That seems doubtful after Robert, clearly no gentleman, refers to her as the village bike– and that's nothing to do with the Tour de France visiting Yorkshire.