ARE you a lady who wants to leave her marriage? That is the question addressed in a new book by Yorkshire's self-styled Divorce Alchemist, Emma Heptonstall.

With many years’ experience as a barrister, family mediator and a master practitioner in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), Emma set up her own divorce coaching business, The Divorce Alchemist, in 2015. The aim was to help women who wanted to initiate divorce. Emma recognised there was plenty of support for women who had been left by men, while women who wanted start the divorce process often felt invisible, vulnerable and scared.

In her experience, some women waited 18 years before divorcing, with the average wait being five years. Emma discovered the main reasons given were not surprising – money and children. Emma's venture aims to help these women have the courage and the confidence to leave if they wish and to make smart financial and emotional decisions in the process.

To this end she has written a new book, How To Be A Lady Who Leaves, (Librotas, £14.99). Emma says the 240-page paperback is for women who are considering separation and divorce; empowering them with making good decisions about their future, and where applicable, their children’s future too. She says it is full of practical guidance, as well as exploring the emotional minefield of this life-changing step and gives helpful advice on English family law.

There are seven sections, including the decision to leave, domestic abuse, the divorce process, finances, looking after yourself and life post-divorce as well as links to further resources. "It is a one-stop shop," says Emma, who lives in York and is single. "It takes you on the journey if you read it all the way through."

There are some key questions women need to ask themselves when considering a divorce, she advises. "Firstly: what is the reason for it? Sometimes we can be unhappy in ourselves but want to blame the marriage. We can run away from the marriage and end up in a different place, but still unhappy. Secondly, and perhaps the biggest tip, is to do nothing. Sit with it a while. If you come at it from a place of calm and rationality then it is going to stand you better stead than if you are doing it in a fight or flight mode. Thirdly, think about what you want at the end of the divorce process and remember it is a journey not a destination."

Using mediation and coaching services can work out a lot cheaper than hiring a lawyer to handle all of the divorce proceedings, says Emma. An average couple with a mortgage, two kids and two cars, can spend around £10,000 getting divorced. Her costs would be a fraction of that, she adds.

Emma will be launching the book at a special event at the Grand Hotel, York, on Thursday, June 29 at 7pm, where she will give a talk about her work. Tickets cost £15 and include a signed copy of the book as well as Prosecco and canapes.

Emma, who is a regular commentator in the media on divorce, has clients from not only North Yorkshire, but across the UK and even from overseas. Several of her case studies are included in the book. “I wanted to write this book as I am passionate about helping women through this challenging time, and to enable them to take positive and well-informed steps," she says. "Forewarned is forearmed, and in reading my book and sharing from my experience, a woman can navigate these choppy waters with both confidence and grace.

"Of course having coaching will enhance this even more, but the book itself is an excellent start point, encouraging women to be confident in embarking on this life-changing process with both knowledge and foresight. This will certainly save on time and money during the divorce process itself.”

Tickets to the event are limited so please book online at: eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-be-a-lady-who-leaves-book-launch-tickets-34969742441

For more information on Emma and where to obtain a copy of the book, visit: http://emmaheptonstall.com.