Daihatsu Materia
FOR seven days I have
been living in a Materia
world. It's been a
strange existence,
where no matter where
you go you are the centre of attention.
Everyone wants to point and
shout things - at one point I wondered
if this is what being
Madonna must be like.
Unfortunately, these people
are not wanting to get my autograph
or have their picture taken
with me. No, in the main they are
laughing at my expense.
It was just a matter of minutes
into my week with the quirky
cube-shaped car that I caught the
first response drifting through
the Teesside air. It arrived as subtly
as an accurately thrown
housebrick.
"Oh my God!" my detractor
shouted.
He didnt need to say any more.
Even without clapping my eyes
on him I knew his retort was
aimed at me, or, more accurately,
the car.
On the drive home another car
pulled alongside me at the lights.
It was a four-year-old Vauxhall
Corsa with more fake bits adorning
it than Jordan. Even so its
passenger felt confident enough
to attempt to aim some derisory
remarks my way. In fact, he
laughed so much he couldn't get
any words out and, thankfully,
the lights changed in my favour
before he could regain his composure.
When I got home I took a look
around, trying to see if the Materia
was as ugly as everyone
seemed to think it was.
I have to admit it's no oil painting,
more Picasso than Rembrandt,
but that said, it's not the
ugliest car I have ever seen.
I hate to use the Ssangyong
line again, but come on, it's not
as bad as that.
My mother-in-law said it
looked like a hearse, but I think
that's a little unkind. I think it
more closely resembles Postman
Pat's van and you can't deny that
has at least a little appeal.
The more time I spent with the
car, the more I grew to love its
looks. Admittedly, I mean love'
in the same way the mother of an
ugly child loves her son or daughter,
but love's love isn't it?
For a car as weird looking as it
is on the outside, you'd expect the
theme to be continued on the inside,
but for some reason its not.
Sadly, it's all very conservative.
So conservative, in fact, that it actually
verges on the bland. It's a
depressing mass of blackness.
It's almost like they expended
so much of their creative juices
on the exterior they were exhausted
by the time they got to
the interior.
The seats are depressingly
dull, as is the fascia, in fact pretty
much everything is, save for
the neon surrounds on the speakers
and doors. But you can even
turn them off.
If you're mad enough to spend
ten grand on a car that looks like
it was drawn by a four-year-old
then surely a few neon lights
aren't going to put you off?
In fact, they should have gone
the whole hog and given it the
full luminescent effect, both inside
and outside.
I'm sure the Japanese, who
have bought the car by the bucket
load, have not reined themselves
in any when it comes to
after-market add-ons.
I bet the Materia goes down a
storm in the centre of Toyko
amid all the flashing advertising
hoardings.
If you can find five people who
share your disregard for public
ridicule, there's more than
enough room inside. In fact, so
high is the roofline that I swear
you could wear a top hat without
fear of damaging it.
The same cannot be said of the
boot, however, but this is essentially
a town car, so it's perhaps
expecting too much to be able to
get the kitchen sink in too. Anyway,
one of those fancy dogs with
the daft names would probably
be more appropriate.
You shouldn't expect to get
anywhere too quickly and the
gear changes are awful, largely
due to the commercial van-like
design of the stick, but the light
steering and position of the
wheels makes it easy to park and
manoeuvre around town.
The Materia's certainly not for
everyone, in fact I'd go so far as to
say you'd need a hide as thick as
a rhino to own one.
But when there are so many
homogeneously-designed cars on
the roads it's nice to know that
there are still some people out
there willing to come up with
things that stand out from the
crowd. I bet they are not the one's
driving them, though.
SPECIFICATION
Engine: 1.5litre petrol
Max power: 102bhp
Max torque: 97lb/ft
Max speed: 102mph
0-60mph: 10.8 secs
Avg fuel consumption:
39.2mpg
Equipment (includes):
Power steering; ABS with
EBD; driver, passenger and
side airbags; air
conditioning; four electric
windows; CD tuner with six
speakers; remote central
locking; alloy wheels; front
fog lamps.
3:04pm Wednesday 14th May 2008
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